My Vintage Levi’s Are Body Shaming Me


It’s perhaps ironic that I’m essay this from inside a span of my many body-shaming selected Levi’s while eating a cornflake chocolate chip marshmallow cookie from Milkbar, since these 3 acts — sitting, wearing, eating — are at elegant contingency with any other. The crop-circle-like demarcations on my stomach are all a explanation we need.

These jeans are a homogeneous of an overzealous hearten captain circling all my “problem areas” with a red marker. Wearing them is kind of like wearing a bully. And I’m doing it voluntarily!!!! Someone stop me. Please. we consider we need to establish a grassroots debate in my possess bedroom to finish a non-threatening abuse we ceaselessly entice into my life simply since these jeans demeanour kinda cold with my high-top Converse.

It didn’t take me prolonged to get here. we got my initial span of selected Levi’s in March, around dual months after Leandra got absolved of hers since she was over them, that sounds about right. we slipped them on when I got home, fervent to burst on a trend past a prime, and my first suspicion on assessing my thoughtfulness was, oh god, these are terrible. Curiously, a clip off a bottom and a singular night’s nap remade them into my favorite jeans in a whole far-reaching world. That’s usually how selected Levi’s work, I’m flattering sure. But don’t be fooled, that’s a honeymoon phase.

The first tenet of 20-something-year-old Levi’s is a loyalty with that they say their shape. And we mean dedication. The waistbands are high, cosy and, fun fact, held together with tangible cement. we consider we could eat a entirety of a final repast (that’s a reversion anxiety am we right ladiessszzzz) and a waistband of these bad boys wouldn’t budge. My stomach would earlier explode. I’m passed fucking serious.


A apart though tangential indicate is that a cowboy crotch is usually as earthy as it is aesthetic. Violently so. Because denim that tucks adult your arm with such passion while you’re station is going to radically disappear into your skin while you’re sitting. That’s physics! Listen. A camel toe is lovable on a camel, humorous in yoga pants, straight-up murderous rendered in selected denim. That’s not a freaking fun and a usually upside is that swelling is a form of exfoliation.

(Just teasing it’s totally not.) (It prob causes ingrowns.)

Here’s something we discussed in a final Levi’s unknown discuss circle: a seam right adult a boundary that is ever-so-slightly shorter than your body’s tangible biological join (I’m sorry! we hatred this too!) creates for a harness-like wearing experience. But we don’t get to zip line opposite a jungle so most as contemplate your possess mortality, that we suspect is thrilling in a possess right.

The foundational problem here is a miss of physical leisure afforded by aged propagandize denim. Every span is a churned bag of tricks. They competence cuddle we in a wrong places, emanate an additional boundary where one did not exist before (no one asked for that!!!), or act as an evident punitive measure for weight gain, large meals or breathing.

On a upside, they’re super cute. In an unflattering kind of way, ya’ know? Somehow, it still feels kinda value it.

ICYMI, Leandra is also ill of jeans. 

Photos by Krista Anna Lewis.

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